Star Searching
by AliceUnderSkies13
Summary: I met Kaito when I was just a child. A rich little boy, arrogant and sarcastic, but I loved him. I felt him there, inside my head, consuming my thoughts like a slow acting poison. We grew up, he went to a fancy private school and I was left on the opposite side of the train tracks, alone. But he always came back to me... MikuxKaito one-shot. *for IntertwinedRoses*


**A/N: *One-shot for RememberLovedVIP***

* * *

I met Kaito when I was just a child. A rich little boy, arrogant and sarcastic, but I loved him. I felt him there, inside my head, consuming my thoughts like a slow acting poison. We grew up, he went to a fancy private school and I was left on the opposite side of the train tracks, alone. Standing beyond the chain-link fence, glaring at the glittering suburbia and wondering why I had to be so poor. But Kaito came back to me; every so often he would sneak across the tracks and into the slums. He acted so different around me. I saw him with his friends, stuck-up and haughty girls with their latest designer bags on their shoulders. He never looked at me when they were around. Invisible, poor, a useless piece of trash that stared across the train tracks. But he still came back to me. He was kind at night, holding my hand as we wandered the darkened streets. Inside, I hated him and his rich friends, the way he treated me whenever anyone was around, the different mask he wore each night. Hatred grew, I started ignoring his presence. I was jealous, angry, betrayed, but at the same time I couldn't push him away. I pretended to despise him, even though my true feelings were quite the opposite.

Even after all those years, even after my cruel behavior, Kaito still comes and bothers me each night. He thinks my coldness is, in his words, "cute". I think otherwise. Still, I don't want to tell him to go away, I'm lonely. And so here we are, after all those years, standing in front of an abandoned mall, wondering what's on the other side.

* * *

Kaito flashes a razor sharp smile. "Never been inside an abandoned mall before, this should be fun."

"I guess," I mutter. "Come on." I push the door open with both hands, chipped paint and years of accumulated dust falling around me. Kaito follows, slamming the door when he enters. It's dark, but not completely. Pale blue lights illuminate the floor, glowing softly like the bioluminescence of some deep sea fish. There's a mess of broken chairs and tables all jumbled together, forming a barricade against the bottom of the stairs. Beyond that is the actual food court, where the tables are supposed to be. It's circular, with three pillars forming a triangle around it. Low walls rise up from the floor, providing support for the backless booths that rim the outside of the circle. It's an odd layout, but the thing that strikes me the most is not the floor plan.

Plastic jellyfish hang from the ceiling and dark blue sailfish adorn the walls. There's a fountain on the left side of the food court, one with a group of frolicking brass children with frozen smiles and glazed, pupil-less eyes. Some are playing leapfrog; one's flying a kite that must have broken off years ago, now he just holds a thin metal thread leading to nowhere. In the center, a little girl with floppy pigtails pours a bucket into the dry empty fountain below. That's probably where the water used to shoot out. And then there's a mural that wraps around the entire room, painted children holding hands and jumping into the air.

"Weird," Kaito says as he climbs over the wall of tables. "This place feels so…old, like it's stuck in time."

"I guess. Oh look, a carousel." I see a porcelain horse further away. One of its legs is missing and there's a gaping hole in its side. I can see the pole that shoots straight through its abdomen, rusted and twisted from years of heat and decay. This place feels haunted. Ghosts drift in and out of my mind.

I clamber down the stairs and over the barricade, knocking my shins against a tabletop. "Let's go to the fountain, there might be some change in there."

His arrogant laugh bounces off the top of the curved ceiling. "You're thinking about money?"

"I'm poor, remember?" I snap. "Sorry if you're too good for loose change, but I'm not passing it up."

He pauses, then turns and looks at me with his blue eyes; they glows in the partial darkness, just like stars. "I'll race you," he says with a smile.

"And you'll lose." And then I'm gone, racing down the broken tile and breathing in the warm cramped air of the shopping center. The tentacles of the jellyfish loom over me, the eyes of the carousel horses glare at me. Glass aquariums line the wall beside me. The light filters through the stagnant water and bathes my skin in an unearthly green glow. Kaito's running next to me, his blue hair falling in front of his eyes. His white skin looks blue and his eyes shine with cosmic light. The universe waits within his irises; I can see it, a mix between the ocean and the empty void of outer space. But it's not empty, is it? Kaito's there. His amazing world of fame and happiness is there too, waiting for me. I could listen to his voice there, touch his pale skin and learn to understand his complex world of riches and beauty. He's completely alien to me.

His eyes bore into my skull. I can see the aquarium with its floating skeletons and pieces of dried seaweed reflected in his pupils. The shards of multicolored gravel that shimmer in the faint blue light. We're so close, our elbows brushing and the smoothness of my bare leg touching his jeans. Suddenly, he takes hold of my hand, squeezing my fingers so that they turn red.

I grab him by his collar and slam him against the wall of aquariums. The glass cracks; a jet of water shoots out and covers his hair in a mess of sparkling droplets. Looks like he just got out of the shower or climbed out of a lake, the infinitely deep lake of space, all black water and swirling motes of stardust. Water droplets slip in between his eyelashes, making him blink rapidly. I see his blue irises glowing like pulsating stars. His dark pupils stare straight at me.

Taking a deep breath I say, "You've been inside my head since I was a little kid. I've always felt you. Always there, talking to me, irritating me…looking out for me. Why do you care about me? You're rich and I'm poor. What am I to you?"

"This has been bothering you for a while." He says this like it's a statement, not a question.

I look away, staring at the dust covered aquariums. "It just doesn't make sense. You know that I hate you, but—"

"You don't hate me, Miku. Seriously, when are you gonna drop that act?"

"I guess hate is a strong word." My eyes settle on his chest, on the dark material of his jacket. I feel it beneath my fingertips. It's smooth and soft. "You irritate me, that's the right word," I say, running my hands down his jacket.

He grips my arms vice-like. My fingers start to tingle. "And you don't irritate me? You drive me crazy, Miku. You try so hard to push me away."

"You're just reading too much into this."

"It's true. It's a struggle for you. You tell yourself that you hate me, but it kills you to do so. "

I laugh emotionlessly. "You don't know me Kaito. We're different people with different lives. "

"How are our lives so different?"

I heave a sigh. "It's obvious. You have money, I don't. Everyone in your world is so fake and proper it makes me sick. All you guys care about is stuff."

"So you think my life is perfect, huh?" Kaito says with a smirk. "I might have money but you have a family. Your parents still love you and each other. And look at my brother, he's spiraling, getting caught up in this 'perfect life'. I envy you, Miku. I want the kind of freedom you have."

"We all want freedom. I want to be free of the slums; you want to be free of your messed up family, but so what?" My eyes are fixed on his. I can feel the sadness, the self-loathing the flows through those pupils.

I reach up with my right hand and brush the hair from his eyes. "There's not much we can do. You can't choose where you were born or who your family is. But remember what we used to say when we were kids? Freedom is waiting for us. It's right there, hoping that we'll grab it and make it ours."

"The stars," he whispers. "I almost forgot, it was such a long time ago."

"Yeah, the stars." My eyes travel along the curves of his face, searching. Suddenly, I feel tears pricking at my eyelashes. "You said you would take me to them someday, remember?"

"Oh yeah, I did say that." He smiles sadly and takes my hand. "I still intend to keep that promise."

"You better," I say, my voice breaking. Then he pulls my head towards him. I have to stand on my toes, but now we're standing close, our foreheads touching.

"Now you promise me something," he says. "Never stop waiting for me."

He pulls my head even closer and then our lips meet. My eyes widen. Kaito grips my shoulders and presses me against him. I shudder as our bodies touch. His lips taste sweet, like ice cream, and his hair is soft. My fingers tangle in his blue locks, his hands running down my back. How long have we waited for this? Years of hidden feelings and icy facades, all gone with one kiss. One kiss…wait, what am I doing?

I break away, breathing hard. "Wait a second, this is too fast. We can't just—"

Kaito groans. "Seriously, you kissed me back and you're still trying to act like you don't like me? What about all that stuff you just said?"

"I don't know!" I shout, pulling at my hair. "We're just kids, hormones are raging and whatever, of course I'm gonna kiss you back! I'm just confused! It's a love hate kind of thing. I, I can't explain it."

"You just said love!" Kaito shouts. "I heard you, you said love!"

"So? That's just how the expression goes. What was I supposed to do, change it to like hate? That's stupid!"

"You love me, I knew it!"

"I'm fourteen, I can't love anybody. You just need to relax."

But he's not listening to me. He's just laughing. Not laughing at me, just laughing, like he's actually happy or something. The heat rises in my face and I'm gritting my teeth so hard that they hurt. This is ridiculous, I don't love him. I don't, I swear I don't.

"I don't," I say aloud.

"Well do you like me then?" he asks. There's a moment of silence. My breathing is heavy; Kaito's gripping my arms and staring at me. His eyes bore holes in my brain.

"Yes!" I scream. "I like you, ok? I like you a lot. You're funny and hot, and you want me so bad and I, well I need you! I need you, Kaito. You've always been there and I can't imagine my life without you."

"Really?" His voice is so small, his eyes are so wide. All of the arrogance and egotistical banter melts away. He's just a regular kid now.

Gasping for breath, I push my bangs out of my face. "Really. I promise." Kaito says nothing, he's just staring at me. So I press myself against him, winding my arms around his torso and resting my head on his chest. "Kiss me again, Kaito."

I feel his hand touch my neck; his fingers are trembling. I look up and he's hovering over me like some strange UFO. Blink once and we're kissing again. But it's different now, easier, not forced or awkward. I run my hands through his hair; he runs his hands through mine. The taste of electricity is on my tongue; power too, so much power. It's such a head rush. My eyelids flutter and I catch a glimpse of his face. Eyes half open, those blue irises shimmering in the lowlights. At this second he's not a rich kid, he's not a pompous brat, he's Kaito. And he's mine.

I blink and my back is up against the fountain. The pigtailed girl is above us, smiling and staring at nothing. And we're standing in a waterless fountain, stepping on rogue coins and broken pieces of tile. Our foreheads touch, our eyes meet. We stare at each other, searching for the stars.


End file.
